It’s not like I was going to eat it

I recently purchased this:

A stupid expensive clear foundation-y gel, which I read an article about, and then bought during a moment of suckerdom.

Problem is that its little pump action dispenser has this tendency to projectile squirt. If you’re not careful, it’ll forcefully ejaculate the goop across the room. Like this morning, when I pressed the pump and found nothing on my fingertips. And then I spotted the glob on the bathroom door.

And it is sufficiently pricey that I honestly considered wiping it off the door and applying it to my person.

But I didn’t. This time.

People, this is exactly what happens behind the closed doors of the make-up nation. Nobody’s per-fekt.