-1-
[About 5 minutes into his side of the conversation…]
Husband: “… so I really love my $1000 amp, but the one thing I’d change is to have the split head and cab version. And this would be about $500, but if I could get $700 for the one I have, then it would only be a few hundred to upgrade and…”
[Few more minutes of discussing ups and downs of a few hundred here and there…]
Husband: “So what do you think I should do?”
Me: “I bought gloves for running today. They were $29.99.”
Him: “…”
Me: “I was looking at the $35 ones, but then I was like ‘dude, let’s not go crazy with this’. I mean, $35. So I went with the $29.99 ones, because they also come with a hat, and I had been waiting to buy a hat too, so this way I could get both for $29.99.”
Him: “…”
Me: “I also stopped in to see if I could pick up another pack of those cloth napkins while they’re on sale for $12.99. Because that’s $4 less than usual.”
Him: “…”
Me: “Sorry, what was your question again?”
Him: “Yes, you’re very clever and funny.”
-2-
I’m working in my office, and hear Husband waking up in the other room. Mumbley mumbley waking up noises. Something that sounds like a sentence directed at me. I can only assume it’s about the cow sock I put on his foot while it was sticking out from under the covers…
-3-
Husband came through to ask that when I turn on the heat in the morning (broken furnace shmoken furnace), could I please also take the big duvet off of him, because he gets stuck under it (it’s true, he does).
Me: [shmooshing his face between my hands] “Sure thing baby. Do you get twapped under da big heavy bwankie? Is it hard cuz you get all stucksy wucksy in your bedsie? Poor widdle munchiekins!”
Him: [hands on hips] “Make. Me. Oatmeal.” [turns on heel and leaves my office].
And I did.
The End.