I am asked, fairly often, how much what I write gets edited before publication.
The answer is that it varies. Some publications edit more extensively than others. Some have a stricter “voice”. But, to answer the question, and because I loves me an empirical answer — here’s a lifecycle of a short little something I wrote recently, submitted to a publication with a Very Strong House Style. Hold on to your version control socks!
Version 1 – Short “proof of concept” test:
An early short version sent to editor for style check — I know when I’m in the cheeky danger zone.
“Once upon a time, there was a burrito. And that burrito didn’t have grapes in it. And the burrito didn’t know what it was missing, because it didn’t know that grapes in a burrito are awesome. But then one day, the good people at The Drake Hotel said “don’t be sad little chicken burrito, for you shall know fruit!”
And lo! The chicken curry burrito was made. And it was good. And its goodness went forth and multiplied, with zippy apples, and crunchy walnuts. And unto the walnuts and apples was added creamy curry and tender chicken. And the burrito saw that it was delicious, and it said “let me be priced so reasonably that all the people might enjoy my bounty!”.”
Result: Editor agreed it was funny, but wrong style for publication.
Version 2 – For realsies this time:
“The Drake Hotel pities the fool who doesn’t have time for a sit-down lunch. No, actual
pity. In the form of making us sandwiches, so that we can grab them and go. Aptly titled
their “Grab + Go” menu. (Decidedly more congenial than “Grab + Get Out”)
Nothing says grab and go quite like the mother of all one-handed sandwiches, the
burrito, so we tried The Drake’s Chicken Curry version. And, for the win: these
pitywiches aren’t the standard shrink-wrapped, cardboard-laced, essence du cubicle
fare.
Look at that picture. Now back to me. Now back at the picture. Yes, those are grapes.
Burritos didn’t know what they were missing and what they were missing was grapes.
It’s fruitapalooza in the Chicken Curry Burrito. Yes, there is chicken (nice’n’moist). And yes, there is curry. But when the chicken turns his back, the fruit understudies steal the spotlight. Juicy grapes, zippy apples, and crunchy walnuts. All unexpected, and all delicious, and all priced at the extremely reasonable $5.95.”
Version 3 – Editor’s edit:
“The Drake Hotel is showing a bit of mercy to busy office workers who don’t have time for a sit-down lunch. Their new (and aptly titled) “Grab + Go” menu features one-hand-required burrito-style sandwiches that break away from shrink-wrapped, cardboard-laced cubicle fare. The chicken curry version is fresh, filling and even surprising. Yes, it comes with moist meat and just the right amount of spice, but its most impressive features are fruit and nuts: juicy grapes and apples, set off by crunchy walnuts. Available when the café opens at 8 a.m., the sandwich can be procured mid-commute and even stays crisp until midday.”
Version 4 – My edit of the edit:
“The Drake Hotel is showing a bit of mercy to busy office workers who don’t have time for a sit-down lunch. Their new (and aptly titled) “Grab + Go” menu features one-handed “Type + Eat” sandwiches that break away from shrink-wrapped, cardboard-laced cubicle fare. The chicken curry burrito version is fresh and filling. It comes with moist meat and just the right amount of spice, but its most impressive features are fruit and nuts: grapes, apples, & walnuts. Available when the café opens at 8 a.m., the sandwich can be procured mid-commute and the grapes and walnuts ensure the sandwich is still both juicy & crunchy by midday.”
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So peeps. When you say “that doesn’t really sound like you”, now you know why.
Next week: “We’re humped” ; )