Preface: The husband is having difficulties feeding himself today. This morning started with him texting me re: the current location of the last scone, which he couldn’t find. I was, at the time, about a kilometre away, so it is interesting that he thought I’d somehow be able to save him in this search.
Me: *Watching Brian Cox talk about the Large Hadron Collider.*
Him: *Suddenly appears dead centre of my office doorway.*
[Standoff]
Me: “Yes honey?”
[No response]
Me: “Quickly baby, I’m watching science here. There is science happening and I’m missing it. It’s science hour and I’m learning about science. Talk fast.
Him: “I WANT MY LUNCH!” *bangs sides of doorjam* *jumps up and down*
Him: *I-just-did-something-bad-face*
Me: “I see.”
Him: “LUNCH!”
Me: “And what would you like for lunch?”
Him: “I don’t know. But I’ll tell you what I don’t want, I don’t want duck and green pea.”
(This is a reference to the cat’s current tin of food. As she has been a bit of a fuzzy little bitchface about her meal options lately.)
Me: “Yes dear.”
Him: *lies down in hallway outside my door*
Him: “I’ve seen this work for kitty.”
Resolution: We decided to go out for sandwiches. (Kitty stayed home. Last seen staring dejectedly at her duck and green pea breakfast).
FIN.