We have fruitflies. Just like everyone else this year. Flocks of them. I found what appeared to be a miracle solution (red wine, with a couple of squirts of dishsoap), which was in practice a miracle solution — for a couple of days. But then the top layer evaporates, and all you’re doing is feeding the little fuckers. Instead of a trap, I had laid out a buffet.
Which led to them telling all of their little fucker friends about the good eats, and soon our kitchen was overrun.
So yesterday, taking a page out of Chiwetel’s book, I vicious and unrelentingly destroyed their sense of safety and paths of retreat. My kitchen has never been so clean, my counters so free of fresh produce (*sniffle*). Are you happy now you tiny pestilences? You made me put my yummy seasonal produce into ziploc and out of sight in fridge and freezer. And now I will take my revenge. I will defeat you, oh yes. Mark. my. words.*
*Declaring war on teeny tiny insects is both fun and, I know, futile 🙂