1. “No it’s not a euphemism.”
Often following up on a sentence like: “Could you please flip my spring rolls over?”
2. “That doesn’t go there.”
This is broadly applied to dishes, winter coats, appendages…
Often attached to a sentence like: “No the cat does not like it when you put your feet on her head.”
3. “Is your playlist repeating?”
See also: “I think we’ve heard that song already.”
and: “Could you put your headphones on?”
and: “Are we listening to the same three songs over and over?”
4. “I don’t think you need another coffee.”
5. “Yes of course you have one anyways, but you’ll feel sick.”
6. “No you don’t like feeling sick.”
7. “Can I have my socks now please?”
See: http://chayday.com/blog/2009/things-i-do-not-get-tired-of-doing-to-my-husband/
8. “I did eat my greens.”
OH! You thought I was just going to list off things he says when I’m being bad. Well, he’s not all cherubic like he sounds.
For ages, I picked up our plates after meals, only to finally realize a few years in that he never ever ate all of whatever vegetable was on his plate. Not. Once.
When I finally twigged in, I started giving him smaller portions. So that basically I give myself twice as many vegetables as him. The first time I did this, he tried to hand me back his plate with veggies still on it. Looking all innocent. And I was all “oh no mister, I’m on to you, I gave you half as many veggies as me, and you still didn’t finish them. This is not a percentage activity buddy, eat those peas.”
To be continued…