I brought celery to work with me today. Work. Where I sit in a cube in a field of other cubes. A quiet field, where every person’s phone call is broadcast to all neighbouring ears.
I have never felt so self-conscious about eating my veggies. Every bite I take seems to reverberate across the whole floor. Which is of course making me laugh almost out loud, which makes it that much harder to chew, which means the whole thing just takes even longer.
Little things are funny. 🙂
Back to work tomorrow, after a delightful amount of sitting on my couch (and some undelightful really-bad-flu). Back to pinstripes and matching outfits as my salt-stained cargos head downstairs to the wash… Meep. Not toooo resentful so far – there is some promise for goodness around my working day, and positive things within it, even if my worklife may be shortly taking a turn for the worse (don’t anticipate don’t anticipate). Plus I basically like all the people I work with, and that’s good times. AND I have a new mug for getting coffee in thanks to Christmas (so I don’t feel so dirty about going to Starbucks).
But I still think something broke in me back in elementary school. I *hated* school
I don’t feel sick on Sunday nights now, but I do still feel that unhappiness creep towards me – lying under the couch and pulling at my ankles. I don’t love what I do. I don’t look forward to it in the morning. I would rather be somewhere else for those 8 hours. Because I’m still taking 1/3 of my day, 1/2 of my waking time, and spending it *not where I want to be*. For now, it is a necessity – I can’t live completely off the land just now, and I have to find some way to keep food in my kitty’s dish – and I have found a job that I like enough that I don’t feel like my life and self slip away while I’m there. But I am resolved to find a better way of being, to keep moving towards work that is my passion, since it must exist out there somewhere. This job is a step in the right direction. No overtime, good pay, great coworkers. And the new year reminds me of the terrible job I was at one year ago… Making. progress.
Perhaps I shall start buying lottery tickets. I would be astonishingly good at being independently wealthy…
In the meantime – best wishes for the new year and hati-hati kepalamu.
This is getting ridiculous. Every “personality” test I ever take gives me some variation on “you are almost equally divided into multiple parts”. Except for that one time I came out as a “Visual Mathematician” – my favourite label ever…
Toronto had a white christmas this year. Nummy. 🙂
Sidewalk etiquette gets funny (to me) when there’s snow and ice on the ground. Take, for instance, the parable of the narrow sidewalk:
Sidewalks in Toronto get cleared after the roads. Like, a distant 17th on the priority list. Which means that at best there is a footpath carved out by the pedestrians before you. This footpath is irregular, narrow, and very likely covered in ice. And yet – it’s better than the snowdrift (well, not to me, I look for snowdrifts like I look for piles of leaves in the fall, but I digress….).
So there are some interesting games of chicken that happen on Toronto’s sidewalk after a heavy snowfall. It can be unpleasant – some tool who makes you stand in a bank of snow as they barrel past – but 9 times out of 10, something much nicer happens. That something nicer is the overchivalry of cold Canadians. Two people, coming from opposite directions, leave the footpath free for the other person by moving to the side and trudging through the snowbank instead. So the footpath goes unused, and both of you wind up with aching quads and wet pant cuffs. I am *shocked* by how often this happens. Especially since I usually leave the footpath first. So they *see* that the path is open. And they leave it to walk in the snowbank *as well*. As a strange form of courtesy, they show their appreciation to you for offering up the path, by not taking it. It’s sort of like offering your seat to an elderly person, them thanking you, and then standing beside the now-empty seat. Overkill? Perhaps. But I think it’s cute, and it makes me laugh on my way home…
Was dreading getting back on my bike when I felt the cold at lunchtime. But thought – hey, it’ll be more downhill than this morning, and maybe my derailer will thaw out in the sun.
Nope.
Add to that a hard and fast snowfall that started 10 minutes before I got on my bike, and it was quite the ride home. I only saw one other cyclist on the road, and I got honked twice, I gather just because I was on a bike (jackasses). The light I clip to the front of my bike ran out of juice only a few blocks from work as well… so basically what I’m saying is – WHEW!
Oddly the layer of snow on the ground made it an easier ride than this morning, because my tires were basically sliding over the ground, requiring less energy from me (still stuck in my super-high gear). I only slid twice, and not badly – once as I stopped, my front tire kicked out to the side, and once as I turned onto the residential street, my rear tire catching a manhole cover under the snow and skidding out a bit as I made the turn.
PHEW PHEW PHEW.
I may pass out now, yay CPwr just got home – SNUGGLES and deep breaths…
Or is it?
Well, it is certainly the end of leaving your bike outside. I adventurously thought I would ride in today (-21C, -34 w windchill). Wasn’t so bad on *me*, but poor bikey was frozen.
And when bikey is frozen, she can’t change gears (all the way to work in a super high gear), and she can’t feel her rear brakes (squeeze the handle and nothin’). I actually had to get off and push her up a hill today.
I may call a van-cab to drive ‘er home this evening, I don’t think she’ll “warm up” where she is right now “outside”.
Cold day today. What’s that? Cold? YES. IT IS VERY VERY COLD.
Cold enough that you walk outside, open your mouth to say “Damn it’s cold!” and your mouth freezes open, because the muscles in your face are in spasm. About -22C. Which is not as bad as it gets, but we’re in the transitional phase, where some of us aren’t yet wearing our balaclavas, and are wishing to god we were as our eyebrows crystallize.
Got to see an interesting phenomenon on the late streetcar ride home (mulled wine at a friend’s place)… frozen windows. Every clear window on the stretch we streetcared past was now an opaque white sheet of ice crystals. Mannequin heads peering out through 1/2 foot of clear glass, ice sheeting hiding their shame…
Except for at Miss Behavin’ – which was completely defrosted and was featuring their Christmas gear – including a red jockstrap with a little white bow on it. *chuckle*
I’ve gotten into some nasty sleeping habits. Not sleeping well during the night, but when I get home in the evening, man am I tired. I was so tired on Tuesday (see entry) that I actually walked part of the way up the street with my eyes closed.
And CPwr’s not helping things. You see, CPwr has these pheromones. Let’s call them ‘Zz’. So I’ll have dinner, sit next to him on the couch. We’ll start chatting. I’ll start saying less and less, with droopier and droopier eyelids. Still listening though…what’s that he just said?…man it’s warm in here…this blanket sure is cozy and the christmas tree is so pretty…uh-huh, yes honey, you sure have a soft shoulder…riiiight, and then what happened?….yeeuppp…
Slowly my body migrates from sitting up to lying down, the blanket somehow gets pulled over me, and I make one more incoherent response to CPwr before he says “it’s okay sweetie, just have a little nap”.
It’s the sleep of babies and angels I tell you…
From one of those ‘Trivia on the Way’ posters on the subway today:
“A barrel full of water weighs 100kg. What can you add to it to make it lighter?”
Fire?
I’ve had a couple of touch’n’go weekends lately. I get to
Saturday, wake up feeling groggy – have brunch, and then spend from
Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon trying (<-the “trying” might
be the problem) to feel productive/awake/normal.
This weekend, getting it together took until 6pm today. Poor CPwr
is feeling sickly, so that’s probably contributed to a general slowness
in our little apartment the past few days. But I did finally
emerge from lethargy land – and with a fury.
Now, I know I’m going to be outdone by my dearest, darling, uber-baker brother , even if slows him down with his sliced finger ;).
However, I don’t have to accept complete defeat. Over the last 2+ hours, I’ve whipped together Chocolate Toffee Squares, my signature Cranberry Pistachio Biscotti, and a banana bread for good measure. A Shortbread Stars & Bells icing party is planned for Friday. Exccceeellllent…..
I have several more cookie plans up my wiley sleeves. Some new recipes culled from current and back issues of Canadian Living’s Christmas editions – including Black and White Spiral cookies, and Earl Grey cookies, plus a few old favourites – Scotch Shortbread, and I may even brave the dreaded and delicious Peanut Butter Balls.
I had been feeling most unfestive, probably because my Christmas season always starts with lots of headaches and phone calls ‘negotiating’ sleeps and meals and visits between 3+ families.
But, it’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas… soy nog and James Galway ahoy!