Category Archives: Life Stuff

For the past many Tuesdays I have been hosting a work meeting around my dining room table.  For 80% of those meetings, I had to keep stopping people from sitting in what we affectionately call “the death chair”.

Okay, perhaps not “affectionately”.

This is the death chair:

It’s from Ikea and it’s $20.  I had a set of two for /years/.  And was amazed by how sturdy they were for $20.  So when we got our big old farm table and needed an interim chair solution, I was like “oh oh! I know what chairs we should get!”  (If you think during a conversation with my husband I do not actually jump up and down and wave my hand and say “oh oh!”, think again).

Sadly, as is so often the case, the interim solution’s time frame… extended.  We are now entering year 3.

The original pair are holding up fine.  The “new” ones?  Not so much.

Not so much in the sense that at least 3 of the 4 have each at one time or other made a resounding “CRAAAAAAAAACK!” noise when someone was sitting on them.  Causing that person to leap out of their chair.

Only the chair didn’t actually “break”.  Not… completely.  None of them did.  They just get fracture lines.  A split appears across the back brace.  When that happens, we sit in the chair tentatively for a few weeks… a few weeks turns into a few months, and a few months turns into me sitting in one right now, rocking on the front legs, totally forgetting that it really could probably go at any time (maybe I have some self-loathing issues I’m not in touch with).

So, technically it’s not actually “the” death chair anymore (though there is a patient zero one we really worry about), but the death chairs.

You pay $20 for a chair, you get what you pay for.  I was hoping we’d also get the “…but sometimes you get a deal” clause.  No such luck.

And so Christmas approaches, and we’re having a big pile of people over to our house.  And we are reexamining our extensive collection of death chairs.

Finger crossed beloved friends and family.  If we find a deal, we will have replaced the interim solution with a leather bench, or some other frou frou condo furniture.

If we don’t, and you see these:

… around the table, don’t believe a word I say about how they’re “fine” or how “we tested them”.  Given the chance, the death chair will kill you and everyone you care about (actually, if they all give out simultaneously during Boxing Day dinner, that’ll literally be true).

God bless us every one.

So, hold onto your pants — the transfer of our landline through Bell has not gone smoothly.

I know, I’m as surprised as you.

Now, it’s not that big a deal. Because apparently they’re just a little behind schedule. It hasn’t been done by 5pm, but they will be getting to it later today.

How do I know this? Well, not because they told me directly, noooo sir.

It goes like this — 5pm came and went. Wife of account holder, whose name was recently added as a primary on the account (this is important, pay attention to this for later), calls to see what’s up. Customer service guy and I get partway through the process when he just has to check and see if I’m on the account before he releases the status info to me.

Okay, so, what do you think?

That’s right, phone-istas, my name is not on the account. He can’t tell me what’s going on with my bollocksed up phoneline. Nothing he can do. Security policy etc. I mention that my name has been added recently, and that I’m The Wife. Nothing he can do. Security policy etc. He understands (and note that he says this like it happens /a lot/) but he can’t do anything. Have to get husband to call to get the status.

Husband calls and finds out the info above (I mentioned to husband that while he was on the line he could feel free to tell them to fuck off and die).

I, on the other hand, shut out on Ma Bell’s doorstep, can’t help but ruminate that because they fucked up, I couldn’t deal with their fuck up.

There’s a sort of poetry about it.

I’m channeling my inner crotchety old conservative today.

On my moving checklist was: “change address with Canada Post”. I had a few minutes, and that seemed like an easy win. So off I went to Canada Post’s “Smart Moves” website.

As a moving n00b, I was not prepared for what happened then.

They charge you to update your mailing address? WTF?! Does everyone know this? It’s not even like a token admin fee, like $10. It is $70 flinging flanging dollars?!

I’m miffed. Miffed I say.

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More fun from Smart Moves.

“Notify participating organizations of your new address with the address change notification service.
This service is available at no cost to you, with the purchase of the electronic Change of Address service. Click here to view the list of participating organizations.”

Sounds good right? I’m gettin’ some service for my service charge? Sadly no. The list of participating organizations?:

• GM Canada
• Rona
• Transport Canada

Comprehensive? I think so!

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And lastly: the e-notice
A handy-dandy service to let friends and family know your address change. Choose from such classic and not at all vapid images as:

or

… Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh, I’ll get this one too guys, thanks.

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Only a scant 12 months after we started looking, and my hubby and I have bought a place.

I know what you’re saying.  “Oh no you di’int!”.  But yes, yes we did.

After we gave up on the idea of a ‘house’ house we swapped over to condos.  Which we swore up and down we weren’t going to do.  Then we found and bought a place within three weeks of looking.  I have a /lot/ of humble pie to eat.

But the important thing, pie aside, is that we’re happy with it.  Really happy with it.  Drunk on the joy of being able to just move right in, no upfront work required.

Don’t get me wrong.  There are many ways in which it is very ugly (kitchen, I am thinking of you).  But it’s in good shape, with lots of room for cosmetic (read: resale) improvements.

Perfect.

Related:  All this means that our beautiful 2-bedroom apartment and home of the past 8 years will be available in June.  Move fast if you want it.